I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurts, only more love – Mother Teresa
Last week Wednesday (Aug 14) marked 9 years since I got married to my beautiful wife – the love of my life and my partner in everything – (funny enough I wanted to say my partner in crime.) Some “loverboy” once said, “if loving you is a crime, then I am a convicted criminal”. In this post, I would like to remind you of the place of love in wisdom, in success and in fruitful living. This blog is all about living wisely which translates to making a mark on the world while being joyful and fulfilled.
Thomas Carlyle once said that “a loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge”. I would like to add that a life not centered on loving and being loved will quickly dry up and wither! I will quickly define love as an attitude of heart that desires the best for others without demanding any return from the object of one’s love.
As you seek wisdom, also seek to love genuinely! Do you love the people around you? Here is a list of people that are around us with some suggestions on how you can love them. Take note that the way love is shown varies from person to person. All you need to do is choose to love at all times and to all who are willing to receive it. To love until it hurts is to love without conditions. To love even when it cost you a lot to continue to love. When you love like this, you find that you are ready to give even if all you get back is negative response. At this point you find that yourself always attracting love.
1)Love your family – If you have a spouse, make sure you desire the very best for him or her. Help them to crystalize thier goals and contribute all you can with your goals to theirs. Listen to them and make necessary adjustments to keep the partnership between you stronger.
2) Love your community – It doesn’t matter where you find yourself, the people living around you are there for a reason. Love them. Think of ways of making their lives better. It is as you think about these that ideas of inventions and innovations come to your mind. Decide to be a solution to the problems you see around you ask God to show you ways that you can help. Then do your part and many times you will see that people are willing to pay you to do what you do.
3) Love those who think they are your enemies – These the most difficult people to love. However you must love them because when you choose to love them, you release yourself from being tied down by negative feelings. To love your enemies is to desire that they will stop being so negative, you choose not to repay them in their own coin, you also choose to pray for them to let go of their negative thoughts and attitudes. You may need to remove yourself from these people to protect yourself but still it is important that you choose not to withhold any good from them that you find you are in the position to offer to them. I personally have found that people who tend to attack me or are antagonistic to my ideas help me to get better and attempt to improve.
Let’s hear from you! What are your thoughts about love? I would love to read from you.
Today my post is not about wisdom, instead it is about the fruit of wisdom. This is another word of wisdom that I believe can easily be overlooked. When I think of mercy and truth as twins, I think of the balance between having mercy and applying the truth or the law or justice. A wise person must know when it is better to let things go and when it is better to apply punishment for wrong done! Also a wise person must always be in search of the truth!
If you are seeking to be wise then you must not be afraid to search deeper than what is apparent to see if there are deeper meanings, other intentions, alternate approaches to a situation and so on. The quote above talks about binding mercy and truth around your neck and writing them on the tablet of your hearts – in other words, let them be as close to you as you can imagine. Be known as a merciful person. If the person is truly repentant (there is truth again) be ready to forgive, be quick to understand the weaknesses of the people around you. Give them some slack when dealing with them and at all times be attentive to the facts that present themselves.
I am always dealing with people and from time to time they mess up. It’s wisdom that teaches you to say, that’s okay, I know you did not mean to mess things up. If however you have not been attentive to the truth about the person, you will assume that they were out to mess you up and you loose favor with them. You also take a wrong decision and loose favor with God!
Mercy can also be referred to as kindness! If you want to excel in life, have favor and the high esteem of people around you, be kind to them. Be kind to your co-workers, to the cleaners at your workplace, to the cashier at the grocery store, be kind to the politician, the police, to everyone. Be merciful! Be Kind! Be Wise! It frees your mind up to think of much more profitable things. It makes people want to support you! It makes people send love thoughts toward you! And of course prayers to God on your behalf. I pray and give thanks on their behalf when I use gifts given to me by friends and family.
Dear Friend – Remember to bind Mercy and Truth around your neck! Be wise, take heed to this words of wisdom and you will have many friends who will be willing to forgive you, help you, promote you and God will uplift you too.
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is bitterest.
Wisdom is quite difficult to pin down with a simple definition and as such how to learn wisdom is also not a quick fix. We would all agree that most people consider wisdom to be a good thing. It feels good to be considered wise. How then can we increase our wisdom? How you ensure that your next action is the best one that you should take? Or how can you increase your ability to discern between good and better?
Well the answer is in the quote above? Think! Meditate! Reflect and if you don’t have enough time or material to do that you can imitate, copy, emulate a wise person or people around you. If you don’t have these then take a step with you best judgement and learn from experience. We will all learn from these 3 methods and one more – inspiration. However, the message today is that you try to make reflection and Inspiration your main teacher closely followed by imitation and then experience. There are people who reverse the order and this can be very costly.
I add inspiration to the list because reflection can be considered to be musing over facts and information already gathered but I want to point our attention to the fact that during the process of reflection and meditation, inspiration can come from God! That is to say, one can have a thought that is not necessarily part of what one has been considering or what you have studied.
Reflection takes a lot of time that is why we are not so prone to doing it. It takes time to read several books on an issue for which we need wisdom. It takes more time to reflect and think about what we have read in the light of what we have known and how it will impact our lives and the future of the universe. It takes time to compare the ideas of the experts in the field. It takes to try to view our preferred idea with what God has planned – that is what is a better choice between what I want or what is best for the universe, what will be a blessing to those around me and would stand the test of time.
Take action! Read a new book this month, listen to a podcast or watch a video that will improve your skill on any aspect of your life. It could be relationship, career, spirituality or parenting or make a note to read this blog daily! Now don’t stop there – think about a habit that you can emulate or imitate from what you read! Think about how this will affect your life if you choose to continue this habit for the next 20 years! Talk about it with the wise people around you and then start to practice it. Don’t give up, you may need to review and fine tune but don’t give up! This is how to increase wisdom!
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
Henry David Thoreau
I remember when I was doing my MEng in Electrical Engineering, I found out that the price that needed to be paid to get an A+ was studying everyday from 9am – 5pm daily. I looked at my goals and I decided that I was not willing to exchange so much of my life for a grade that I may not really make use of. I already knew at that time that I would prefer to work with people than work in the lab or on computers.
Imagine the great cost that people pay for crimes that looked small, that seem to cost just a little time and money. As you make decisions today, ask yourself what is the real price of this? Is saying those words really worth losing your job, peace of mind and other costs that you may not account for? Sometimes the answer is yes and at other times the answer is no. Wisdom requires that you find out.
Also consider how much time you are investing in something – Don’t assume that because you are not spending money, you are saving money. It may actually cost more when you think about the amount of Life that you exchange for it.